Editor:

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good joke as much as the next person, but one of the "Kartoon Korner" items in your February 2001 issue struck me as eminently humorless. The cartoon, by Ken Larson, features a forlorn-looking little boy seated on his front-porch steps. Glancing meekly over his over his shoulder, he holds a sandwich in his hands and sings an ad jingle familiar to any boomer-age television viewer (assumably to his unseen parents inside the house). In his version, however, the lyrics have been altered slightly: "My tofu has a first name it's C-H-I-L-D, my tofu has a second name, it's A-B-U-S-E."

Seems that Larson would have us chuckle at the absurdity of parents who foist flavorless, pasty-white soybean curd upon their unsuspecting progeny. Clueless, trendy tofu-pushers, Larson chides, just get with the program and pack your child's lunchbox with some good old-fashioned (i.e., high-fat and meat-based) Oscar Mayer fare--apparently the meal of choice among the nurturing, loving, nonabusive parents in Larson's world. Sadly, it appears that most parents in this country would agree that they are doing their children a favor by serving them the standard American diet. (In his new book, "Fast Food Nation," Eric Schlosser notes that more than 90 percent of American kids eat at McDonald's every month, and that Americans shell out more cash for fast food than for higher education, personal computers, computer software, or new cars.)

In reality, of course, parents who rear their children on a steady diet of Lunchables and Happy Meals are inculcating them with some very unhealthy eating habits and setting them up for a lifetime of preventable health problems, such as heart disease, cancer, and obesity. Not very funny, but neither are the efforts of those parents who are trying to safeguard their children's health and longevity by offering them wholesome, plant-based alternatives to the cured deli meats for which Larson is so nostalgic.

I guess I'm still not laughing.